Thursday, February 23, 2006 @5:17 AM
hey, you know what, i am sooo confusing, i confuse people around me and i confuse myself=(
i dont even know what i am doing la
i think i really forget things too easily
its like, even if i know that someone did me wrong, i will like totally forget about it and become friends again!
its not that its bad....
but its like in a certain way, it can be seen as hypocrital, yup. that BIG word
but,.... i cant help it leh, i dont like to hate people, its difficult to remember all those nasty things and making an effort to bring the dislike out of me
i like everyone=), i mean, no one has an evil thought at everytime of the day,right? and every single person has a nice side to her la(i hope)=)
however, sometimes i dont know what i am doing, like one moment i dont like that person, then, the next, i can be happily be chatting away with that same person
it just mean that, i forgot bout the whole negative thought already=1
i wonder if its normal,...
cuz, some people really see it as
hypocrital, like, i hate that person, but i still chat with her, so fake,....that kind of thing....
i dont know la, i cant help it, SAVE ME!!!!
however, the real
fact is that i really cannot remember,
i dont have much space in my tiny-_-brain to store all that bad things about other people.
i cant even remember to bring my social studies textbk when i've test the next day can,...
its too packed with stuff like studies, dance, lyrics, oh well,... and to feed my hamster!!!
hating, need alot of energy, i tell you
i have learnt that from last time,... and it is a horrible feeling,...its better to be happy la.
but,.... there is a exception, that is, if you dont see me as a friend,... i wont too, simple as that=)
hahaha,..... this whole thing is crap la,.... hahaha
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you know what???!!!!
today gita and syzana molested me !!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know they followed me into my emtpy classroom today and when they gave me that lecherious look,.... i knew sth is going to be wrong.
i wanted to ran out,... but before i could do that,.... they went to grab hold of me!!!!!!!!
and i was screaming and screaming and i was struggling and crying,
and i felt damn helpless because it was 2 against 1!!!!!
no one could hear me cuz they were 'screaming' happily and excitedly too. i have never felt that feeling before, it was horrible!!!!
normally when the two rapist gita and syzana get 'aroused' and they try to get a victim,...
and its usually me,...., there would be many people around and they would just be like 'you guys stop it la, she so poor thing', there were bright lightings and all that, sooo it wasnt so bad.
but now, its like there wasnt even a single soul in sight, and the lights, fans were off, the windows were closed.... so creepy.....and the feeling of being overpowered by burly people bigger than you and not being able to do anything about it, knowing whats going to happen, but unable to escape, thats the worst thing man,..... the fear imprinted in you is bloody horrible. i truely sympathize with all those rape victims..... i wonder how they overcome that fear in them.... how brave....
i was covering myself with my hands and walking around dazed after that, i think i was temporary traumatized by what had happened. for a moment after that i did not even know what i was doing, i competely lost myself.... it was scary i tell you. those 2 girls are not that simple as you think.....
FREAK YOU LA!!!!! ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!!! I
AM GOING TO GET HELP FROM
PAT AND KUKU!!!!!! HAHAHA, THEN YOU KNOW,....
i will get pat to chase you all around untill you get breathless,....
then get strong kuku to catch you up,....
AND I, HAHAHAHA, WILL PERSONALLY TAKE MY OWN REVENGE!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA, YOU GUYS WATCH OUT!!!!!